purple_orchid

12:38 pm: the weekend is over

so i can finally post the 'big' news.  the bf proposed on the last night we were in sydney after a long dinner at a fancy restaurant on the harbour...and i said...yes....

oh...did i mention that we went to sydney for a week holiday?  i must have....

anyways...i changed my status this morning on FB from 'in a relationship' to 'engaged' and with the space of a few hours the responses were plentiful!!  as i expected it to be...the joys of modern day technology and social networking sites...  =)

anyways...it will most likely be a long engagement as we have both aggreed that the 'day' will be in 2 years time...give or take a few months..so nothing too soon!!

funniest story on the weekend.  i decided that i couldnt really 'announce' my engagement on fb/livejournal etc until i actually let my core group of friends know (hence why the entry late last week being so vague) so i waited because we had a big dinner thing for the 1st birthday of U child (first birthdays are massive in the Viet culture). so yeah we were at dinner and i decided to just flash the ring around to see if anyone noticed...most (if any) didnt notice. so i though okay, got to let the cat out of the bag now.  so i went up to one of the close gf and just casually placed my left hand over her left hand and brought it up to her face....she was like...'what the..' and then all i get is a mini cry from her as she realises why i was 'showing her' her hand (she just recently got married) and then it was a flurry of hugs and congrates...that was a very funny reaction....very cute!

then there was another couple who came late and had just pretty much announce to everyone at the table they were expecting...i go over and say congrates and then casually say, i should tell you my news too...she then looks down at my hand and goes...oh wow...but the kicker wasnt her reaction, it was what she said after:

'so when are you due'?!

and i am like @!$#

i go...not any time soon...i may look pregnant but this look i have had for years....  (i admit it, i have a semi pot belly - probably due to all the excessive drinking in the past!)

but yeah. i love how half this group automatically assumes i am knocked up!!  hahrhrahrhar though after careful thought, its not suprising they think this seeing as to them i am not the 'settling down' type. and before the fiance,  i wasnt and they knew this!!  i have always been so focused on my career and bf (tho there were a fair few) were just 'entertainment' to me....and they knew i didnt take it seriously...guess they thought the same about the fiance....

but it was just funny reactions all around...reactions that i will use against them when i want to 'blackmail' them into doing something...harhahrhahrar

another one was H.  he does kung fu with T. who has known now for just under 2 weeks...he was soooo upset T. didnt tell him....and T. goes, 'well what do you expect me to say - over kicking each other at kung fu you want me to announce, yeah...i just found out N. & H. are engaged?' harhahrar

i love my friends....they are such a 'unique' group...

another reaction at dinner...i went over to the other table and A. lil sister (who has been with her bf for awhile) grabs my hand to look at the ring and then she starts swinging it infront of her bf face and say, my, what a beautiful ring..and looks...its soo pretty and sparkly...i had to laugh at her and say....' i think J. has gotten the hint Y.'...after she nearly took out his eye with her swinging....

hmmmm...and then there was sunday...the fiance decided to tell his group of boys and so i had and endless stream of kids coming up congratulating us...the only problem was i had not told my girls because i was doing a mini experiment to see if they would notice....(he looks after the teenage boys, i the girls)...so yeah, the girls heard from the boys so you should have heard the squeals of excitment!!  and then one of the boys came out with a pearler....

'are you sure its really - better make sure its not a fake'!!

i love the blanket honesty of kids once they trust you and tells you everything...  =)

anyways...

enough of the stories..i need to get back to work because i have to head out soon to give plasma...

still giggling though when thinking of the various reactions...

09:58 am: big news
will share after this coming weekend.  friends will get narky if i post online before telling them in person...

harhharhharar

but trust me...its big..and a case of 'finally'..... =)

10:31 am: call me a nerd

or just call me strange...but i found this 'mash up' quite amusing...

www.rebelliouspixels.com/2009/buffy-vs-edward-twilight-remixed

i love my buffy...and edward fascinates me...well the twist on the vampire thingy anyways....

01:30 pm: only 3 more sleeps

til its time to go away from it all...only for a week but it is a much needed week i think. i am tettering on the edge of late.

thats why i have been wasting so much of my hard earned dosh on that place...

anyways.....we fly out on the red eye on friday evening....after i have had a full day at a  workshop about concrete...dont know how i will survive. i so didnt want to go but other members of staff plus clients insisted i needed to go...  urgh....

so yeah. i have decided i am not going to bother mixing business with pleasure. i was going to go visit a select few clients in sydney during the week but i have decided i dont want to now.  if the company wants me to go on a marketing junket they will pay for it.  thats my current attitude. i am not going to bend over backwards for them.  they dont deserve it. not with their current track record.

dont know how long i will last here. i really dont. i have not had a happy week yet. no happy moments in site. just stress stress stress.

anyways. back to counting down the days...

08:06 am: oh no!

just found out that David Eddings had passed away a few days ago...the beloved storyteller that introduced me to fantasy is no more.....

turns out that his wife Leigh Eddings had passed 2 years prior...his last book (part of the dreamer series) was in 2006...

now i understand why.

his writing was never 'high prose' but it did introduce me to the world of fantasy and i will always have a soft spot for Eddings...

 

Good bye David Eddings...i will still pass on your writings to all who are interested...you will live on through your prose...

12:25 pm: four of a kind = $1225

score!!  =)

01:28 pm: okay. personal rant.
maybe i am in the minority here and just being naive and too trusting but seriously. it has pissed me off.

i went in to talk the QA/QC guy at work about standardising some forms and such and then he goes and asks me...so how often do you back up your folder.

and i am like.  why do i need to back up my folder.  i put in on the general drive for a reason - for IT to look after the backup. 

and he goes...oh so you trust IT?  so what happens when they stuff up?

and i am like. but thats the whole point of having IT. that is there job. if they by chance stuff up, they can go back and pull out archives. urgh.

i go, well if i start having to back up my own files thats yet another thing for me to do that isnt even in my job description.

and he chucks back, but it is in your job description to assure the integrity of your work right? 

and i am like....hurh?  so why do we have a bloody server system then?  i might as well keep it all local on my hard drive, run the other pcs off it and that is 100% assured of the integrity.

i just dont get it. if i have to do all this extra stuff i dont need IT to be looking after the server. i will do it myself again.

maybe i am too trusting, i dont know...but i thought the whole point of being part of a company that has different departments is for them to do their jobs. so i can focus on doing mine. not try and keep everything under such tight 'control'. 

i mean, i thought i was anal but this guy is ridiculus.

okay. end of rant.

01:35 pm: okay so funny story
of something that happened on the weekend.  the bf and i went out late night shopping on friday night and then after dinner decided to go to the cas to try out luck...whilst we were there just wandering around we bumped into this girl named H.  she is the ex gf of his best friend who passed away years ago in a gang fight so he and her were/are pretty close due to that link.  anyways....she saw him and practically jumped on him to give him an 'cheek kiss' (who bloody does that?  well actually there is another chick...in melb. i will write about that one later) anywhos. she gives him a peck and i am like right next to him and then there was this awkward,pregnant pause as she stops and just looks at me before i had to sort of move in to do the whole 'cheek kiss' thing too...i was like halfway ready to stick my hand out to shake hers...harhharhahrar i mean, come on, if you go to give a guy a peck on the cheek and his gf is right there, you have no choice but to do the same to the gf.  otherwise you are just asking for trouble!

lets just say, i have  some issues with this chick.  i was already quite annoyed with her for something she did the sunday before but this just made me even more annoyed and ready to tell her to F off.  

basically this chick, every time she calls up the bf, usually starts off the phone call with, so have you broken up with her yet?  i am like. WTF...and the funniest bit is usually when she calls i am right next to him so hear the whole conversation because she talks so loud its not funny.  anyways. on sunday it was a festival day at temple and so she came up to pray and bumps into the bf. this a rough recall of the convo according to the bf:

her:  so where is your gf today?
him: oh, we broke up (he has a sick sense of humour sometime)
her:  *jumps up and down*  really?  really?  finally!!  (and basically starts grabbing him and jumping for joy)
him:  ummmm...actually i was just kidding, shes right over there...

wth....i mean, even if you dont like someone, that is just not the proper response to hearing news like that (i mean, even if it was true, there is always the chance they will get back together!!). you say, oh really - pity. and hold your tongue as to what you thought of her until you are sure they are broken up for good!!

anyways...this is not the first incident - and i cant see it being the last!  but yeah. she so annoys me. she is constantly telling the bf that i am not suited for him and that i am too old for him and we are not right for each other...ummm hello, 3 years and counting...whats your record biaaaaatch...??!! 

and yes. everyone (besides me), including his guy friends thinks this chick has the hots for him, has for awhile and still totally hung up on him.  though he doesnt see it.  he just says they are really good friends.  yes i understand that the bf would never go there because he would forever be haunted by the ghost of his best friend but that doesnt mean she cant...

when i daydream after an incident like this, i usually come up with some bizarre scenario where i end up having a really good reason to bitch slap her to all buggery hey!!!  that is one chick i could do without in our lives....

and another one....A. from melbourne.  now this chick was potential 'competion'.  the bf was like totally hung up on her - he even went to melb a few times to visit her when the potential relationship was blossoming...too bad she had a bf at the time..and conveniently forgot to tell him...until she was 'caught out'....

anyways..A. also had a habit of doing cheek kisses with the bf (actually, i think i might have blogged about her before). and then she always does a semi dramatic pause before giving me one...anyways. this chick has the habit of telling the bf that i am not suited for him because of my age and also i dont look 'good enough' for him. as in my looks are not in the same league as his....*rolls eyes* first time i heard that i thought, an i in HS again?!  anyways...when we met up with her in melb end of last year it was hell awkward. i refused to go to dinner with her just the 3 of us so i dragged the whole group along - i think it was a total of 10 of us!!  harahrhahrhar

so yeah...thats 2 chicks that have vocalised on more than one occasion about the nature of my relationship...and yet another chick that when daydream and she happens to appear in it like H. usually goes down the same pathway as the daydreams with H.

usually i am a very tolerant person - i know where i am at in my relationship and my life so am not insecure but there two girls (it use to be more A. but now its both of them) just seem to rub me the wrong way and bring out the possive gf.  its quite humourous really...except that it turns me into a person i dont like!!

but yeah. the bf and i, over a bottle of wine at dinner on saturday, discussed this and his many other love interests in the past (yep, we are one of those relationships where we are fully honest and open about our past - doesnt work with every relationship but it does with ours).  anyways. we (i) came to realisation that all (i should write most?!!) of the girls he has 'had a thing for' in the past fall into this catergory:

shallow, materialistic, needy and all about 'looking good' (the accessory boyfriend, has to look good to take out and show off)

yeah. i can be such a bitch hey.  but he did agree on the classification for most of those chicks!!!

harhahrhar

anyways...i have to get back to work now...make the money to pay the bills and such....

counting down the days til i hit the big 3-0...now that is scary.

02:21 pm: writing a comment

on someone elses entry reminding me of a story (rant) from bowling last tuesday...not the tuesday just past but last weeks tuesday...basically the bf and i are in a league but we bowl for different teams...more fun that we..we get to compete against each other!!  but anyways, he was versing this team which i cant actually stand.  just recently our league 'merged' with another centres league and this team was one of those teams.  this team is known to be very unsportmans like and hassle you if you are abit slow to bowl. lets just say my team are usally one of the last teams as we have a tendancy to chit chat...alot...not only amongst ourselves...but also teams at the other end of the centre...harhahrhar but anyways...it is a social bowling league. not a competition for state or national or whatever...so yeah. this team has hassled us about being abit distracted....they are also known as the team that heckles - and not in the nicest ways. some of the stuff they say is just down right mean.  we have been tempted on more than one occasion to report them for unsportmans like behaviour.

but yeah. the bf team was versing them and we were in the lane next to them.  the bf had ordered a basket of fish and chips for dinner and it happen to be placed on the communial table for his two lanes.  i went to bowl and then the next thing i see is this bloody woman start picking out pieces of fish and eating. and i am like WTF?  i also see the husband taking chips and eating it. i observe for a few minutes and they dont stop at one piece...they just dig in like its their food.  and i dont mean chips, i mean the fish bits. so i go to the bf and ask, is that your basket?  and he says yeah...seems the husband helped himself to a chip early on with the bf there (without asking) so the bf being the bloody nice guy that he is just sort of semi said, um okay. yeah, help to some chips. no problems.  but seems they took it as...just eat all our food. no need to feel weird about it. though we dont even know your name....

so after seeing the bloody wife eat yet another fish piece i am seething and i go over to the bf and ask why he hasnt said anything...and he is like dont worry about it...its just food. and i am like..but its your dinner...not a snack. and he is like. just leave it. i dont like confrontation...

it just so happens at that moment in time, she gets up to bowl and walks past where i am 'discussing' with the bf about the food so i deliberately raise my voice and say, 'is that our basket of food?  i havent even had a chance to eat a piece yet and yet there seems to be no fish pieces left.'  the bf actually was not happy i did that and try to have a go at me for being rude. and i am like, wtf?  and walked away from him before i picked a fight with him.

anyways...that comment from me seem to do the trick cause she stopped eating...though it may have also been because there were no fish bits left to eat anyways...

anyways...i still am annoyed when i think about it.  if the bf had not stopped me i would have gone to have words with that bloody woman - and even now, i believe i had a right to do it....

urgh.  but yeah...

@ monkeyfruit.  i do believe that people such as the bf and your husband do balance us out. they teach us patience and the ability to hold our tongue...but gosh there are times i just want to go back to the 'old' me and let loose!!  harhahrhahrar  life sometimes is alot more fun that way!!

08:17 am: how is that solving the problem?
if it makes the computer stop running then bloody tell me so i can spend some time fixing it instead of unplugging it all and then leaving it in a messy pile for me to find in the morning.

and then you have the gall to snap at me this morning when i ask and make it sound like it was my fault.

whatever.

hmmph!

11:17 am: fooey!
looks like tasmania in june may be a no go....

stoooooopid company...the bfs...not mine....

not letting him go...even tho his leave hasnt been officially rejected

not happy

12:55 pm: addiction
whats the problem with it? and to be honest, we are talking about any type of addiction rather than a specific one. well to me it is how consuming it is.  it fills your head with 'want' and then wont go away until you have fufilled it.

i have recently (re)discovered i have an addiction. and i keep fueling it by telling myself that after this time i will stop and thats where it ends.  after the 5th (6th? 7th? ...) time of telling myself this and of making promises to myself and then promptly breaking it the next day....

//-_-\\

my thoughts are maybe if i write it down and make it bloody glaring obvious i have a problem i will stop myself from succombing...again....

i dont know...is an addiction bad if it doesnt hurt others or even effect others?  can you still indulge in your addiction as long as it doesnt negatively impact you or the people around you? 

we get taught by Buddha that any form of attachment is bad. it creates ties which of course can stretch over your many lives and be the string (chain) that keeps tethered to the endless cycle of re-birth.  so we are encouraged to let go of all things, to stop creating further attachments - to become impartial.  so i guess by becoming addicted to anything is a bad thing as you are actually chaining yourself up more.

*sighy*

anyways. back to my original statement.  i have an addiction and i need to convince myself to break it.

......

03:53 pm: 47/100 not too bad
bold the things you have done....got from shy: http://shy.vox.com/

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (though, it was only rock band)
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma
65. Gone skydiving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a mobile phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

01:46 pm: it was you!!
johanny that i saw walking with jenny down the arcade in the city last week. i am sure of it...but it registered a fraction too late and i sure as heck wasnt going to go backwards to say hello...way too stalkerish there...

=D

what are the chances of that happening...

11:11 am: i need to remember to hold my tongue when i have this chat with this certain someone.

must keep reminding myself that it is personal choice on what they choose to do and not everyone is as dedicated and involved as i.

its not my fault that i am a nosy parker and can find out exactly what you are doing when you are shrugging off your responsibilities. and then saying i am just too busy. yeah. busy making cookies.

i must i must i must hold my tongue.

but i still have to whinge...

why the f. cant you just fulfil your duties til the end of the bloody year and then pull out? its not like it is much longer. why do you just drop everything without an explanation and make others shoulder your responsibilities? why do you leave it to me to explain/lie as to why you are not there for the girls? i cant really say to them that its just because you cant be f. anymore. how the f. do you think that will make them feel? why so selfish? and what happened to organising teh bloody fun run?

okay. end of my whinging.

12:34 pm: same old tired post about friendships dying...
the bf always tells me to let it go and if they (being the other girls) dont make the effort than why should i. but for me i seem to like to dwell. it hurts and i know it is bad for me but i dwell. this usually happens when is tumble across something like oldish photos or past events where i can see clearly that i have been left out and then i dwell. the evilness of FB i tell you.

basically it is the same tired old story with this one group of girls. and yes. we have been drifting for awhile but yeah...what can i say. its been a few years and the woulds still sting.

the bf tells me that it looks like they got over it ages ago and have moved on and ask why cant i. but i cant. i just seem to think about it cause we were always such close friends growing up and now its like we barely ever knew each other!! its not a nice feeling..though its not like there is anything i can do about it....

but anyways...i need to get my head out of the past and start the future. focus on the good friends that are in my life!! the only problem is that i feel like i was replaced by this girl J. and the issue is recently i am feeling like she is edging into my group of friends (there are overlaps with the friends due to family relations) and though i know it is stoooopid, i feel paranoid that she is edging in and going to replace me within this second group also. she seems to be popping up at more and more functions with my group of friends and i know she has being going to stuff i dont attend because eitehr it is on a sunday so it conflicts with youth group (my group always bitch about me putting youth group first) or i have more and mroe conflicts with other functions.

call me paranoid. but that is how i am feeling...what jolted this feeling of replacement was because i saw on FB a picture with here and the other 3 girls that were my 'core' group back in the days and it just felt like it should have been me in that picture!! and then to find that this chick J. has been attending stuff i have nto gone and so is hanging out with my friends just has driven me over...

it bloody feels like i am 10 yo and in primary school again...no shes my friend. not yours....

//-_-\\

anyways. enough of my moping...

back to my accomodation searching for melbourne end of this year...

11:55 am: okay its friday
and i am not feeling it for work. mainly cause promises have been made and not kept by tradies so i am royally pissed off. so my schedule to get the lab up and running keeps hits major stumbling blocks!! urgh! so much so i have no motivation for work!

anyways. thats probably why i am now feeling the urge to blog. i havent put the proverbial pen to paper for awhile. just too much real world things interfering with the 'other life'...harhahrhar

anyways. nothing life changing has happened - beside the company change. been to preoccupied with the move to do much.

got M. & G. wedding this sunday. not only did they spring the fact that they needed help with the tea ceremony only last week (when for the last 6 months of talking about the wedding, they were vehemently insisting no tea ceremony). So i need ot be there at 745 am. but what is worse is sunday is the day we change the time to daylight saving so in reality i will be there at 645. not to mention being female i will have to get up at least an hour to two to get ready (war paint and all that)!! urrrgh. not happy. i was thinking, first wedding that i could actually sleep in before having to go to the ceremony!!

hmmmm...youth group hasnt been crash hot - i had over the reign to J. and she hasnt turned up for half the time. she is claiming that is having personal issues about work and stuff but how does that affect her turning up on sundays? its not like she has to do anything outside of sunday. its been quite bad in the last few months. the girls are beginning really wonder. she claims she doesnt think she is doing a good job with them - but then it doesnt help not even turning up. stick it out! there is only a few more months left. its frustrating. doesnt help that i raise it at the meeting (because thats the whole point of meetings, to share what is happening in each group and help each other out if there are problems) and then while i am in the middle of explaining the problem the other J. (the one i have been having endless problems with) butts in and trys to defend J. the bf thought i was going to snap and start another fight right then and there. the other J. was all on the defensive saying if she is busy she is busy etc. and i am like calmly saying, i understand different people have different priorities and yes, if J. doesnt want to confide in me with her personal problems, i am not offended BUT she has to at least communicate with me to let me know she isnt turning up - she has a class and other responsibilities. so we can all organise our schedules. me and J. are suppose to be a team and working together!! anywyas. i guess because i didnt react and snap at her - but only responded in a calm way it shut her up. but i was fuming hey. not happy at all.

the problem was we had been discussing another group leader, K. who is doing the same thing - not turning up for weeks on end and not calling anyone to let us know. he has a class too. and yet the other J. didnt say anything about that when we bought it up. only when i bought up J. (who in all honesty, is doing the exact same thing) she like has a knee jerk reaction everytime i say anything hey. makes it so bloody personal. i seriously dont htink i will ever be able to mend the rift between us!

anyways. when did this entry become a rant?

anyways...it is time to do some readings and then maybe lunch. looks like another busy weekend. i so need to establish my corner so i can sleep on mondays!

harhahrhar

09:21 am: stephenie meyer
i have finally jumped on the whole 'twilight' bandwagon. after a false start of thinking there was only 3 books in the series, i went and bought all 4 on monday. i then proceeded to read twilight in less than a 24 timeframe. it proabably helped that i spent most of yesterday in hospital with dad as he was admitted with bad pains. that one scared the crap out of me. him calling me saying he is having pains and i need to call an ambulance for him! my mind was racing backwards he complained of chest pains a few weeks ago - but he then semi clarified the details and i was able to breath a sigh of relief as non of the symptoms matched a stroke or a heart attack. it turned out to be kidney stones.

that is now 2 stints next to a patient in the hospital in the last month. not a good thing!

so anyways. back to the vampire series. its very easy reading. not high prose - that probably why it is so easy to read! its addictive too. i am still trying to decide whether i really really like edward or not. he sort of conflicts in regards to the way of his character development. he reminds me of 'angel' so that is always a bonus cause i am so in love with that vampire.

but anyways. i have just been called to work related things i have to leave this entry here.

04:01 pm: moving on
we will be out of our current location by next friday. things are all in varying states of being packed and now it is getting really real. and really stressful!! beginning to miss this place already!

=D

i wish i had time to re-paint the new lab first!! harhahrhar

09:01 am: i am sad
found out on sunday that a friend in melbourne, though to be honest i have lost contact with him in the last few years so i guess i should call him an aquantance, passed away in the wee hours of the morning. he had gone to his cousins bucks night and drank so much that he didnt wake up.

this guy when i was still in contact was a good mate. its scary how you loose track of people and friends. especially those in different states. it actually took me a few days to work out it was him. i know him from youth group and so we always knew each other from nicknames etc rather than his 'real' name so it didnt register when i first got the news. but now with all the death announcements and emails going back and forth and convos i have realised that i did know him. and so i am sad. i mean i was sad when i originally heard the news because he was a member of the organisation but now it has reached an even deeper level of sadness cause i knew him personally.

i cant make it to the funeral and there is no one really in his family that i can offer my condolences to so i will just accept that it is another life gone.

this is the second person i know who has drank too much and not woken up the next morning. its a scary concept when it actually happens to people you know. it makes you think twice about over indulging. seriously.

the bf raised an interesting question which has me thinking. if you believe in buddhism than you can say that it was his time to go. but of course because of the way it happened your gut instinct was to say, no it wasnt, it was just an accident but in all honesty, it was his time. its hard to accept - mainly because of how he died but if it wasnt his time, then he wouldnt have died. the nature of the death only indicates his past lives.

but its still sad. i can try and rationalise it all i like but in the end it was a tragic ending. and so we mourn and hope that his soul will re-incarnate into a better place.

move on my friend - hopefully to a better place